


You Only Live Twice

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-17
Updated: 2003-11-17
Packaged: 2018-12-27 03:01:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: The death of a loved one gives Lindsay new insight on her father's life.  Meanwhile, Brian and Justin have come full-circle in their non-relationship.  So where do they go from here?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Lindsay gripped the handkerchief tightly, strangling it as she restrained herself. As it was, Lynette was ‘working' the room. She had made sure to turn their mother's funeral into her own personal singles bar. Lynette, after all, was looking for the lucky man that would be her fourth husband. 

She knew that her sister was upset but it wouldn't be proper to show it. That's what they had been taught. Lindsay was obviously a rebel through and through because she had been a blubbering mess all day long. 

Her father wasn't even there. She couldn't be sure but she felt that he was probably at home. Remembering. Even though he and their mom had been separated for over a year, her death had hit him hard. She had never told anyone about having cancer. It had been a shock to say the least when her best friend had called the family to tell them that she had been sick and had passed away in her sleep. 

God! Why? Why hadn't she simply gone to her? Talked to her? Years of trying to prove to herself that she really didn't need her parent's approval had divided them. Her father could see her point. Her mother however, had finally let her anger and disdain for the way that Lindsay chose to live her life, build up and had stopped speaking to her completely. Lindsay had always thought that one day...one day she would be able to make up with the woman. Now it was too late. Always too late. 

"Lindz? Gus is down for his nap. Why don't you go get something to eat?" Melanie sat down on the couch, beside her wife and rubbed Lindsay's back soothingly. Lindsay, a fresh wave of emotion hitting her, turned to Melanie, burying her face in the crook of Mel's neck. "Shhh," she whispered. "It's okay. Let it out baby." 

And Lindsay did just that, as she held tight to the one person that she knew accepted her completely, with all of her heart and soul. Her real family. 

***** 

"Think she'll be okay?" Justin asked as he watched Lindsay and Melanie exit the room, Lindsay in tears. 

Michael shrugged helplessly and toyed with the clip on his tie. "Well her mom died. How would you feel?" 

Brian slid his arm around Justin's shoulders and stared after the couple as they slowly ascended the stairs. He wanted badly to go and comfort Lindsay, to make her laugh again like only he could, but Melanie had that covered. 

She would be fine in time. Always was. Even in college, she had bounced back like a rubber ball. One day she was wailing that they had cut her off the next day she was taking Rebecca Tucci to the family barbeque. It was the Peterson way. 

"She'll be fine," he said aloud, leaning back against the kitchen counter. Justin snuggled into his side, his forehead resting under the taller man's chest, and Brian took his own comfort from the close proximity. 

He knew that funerals upset Justin. Brian wasn't completely immune to them himself. But at that moment, he would bet his life that Justin was thinking about his own mother. Thankful that she was still alive and well. Grateful that she accepted him and he wouldn't have to bear that particular burden if something should happen to one of them. 

Brian's thoughts were taking a somewhat different direction. It could be either one of them. Justin or himself. And it would be one day. One day, one of them would have to do without the other. He wasn't sure how either of them could function any longer without the other and he damn well didn't want to have to find out. But that was life and Brian had made peace long ago with the fact that if he was going to risk loving Justin, he would also be risking that he would eventually have to lose him. One way or another. 

"Do you want to go?" Justin turned his head to stare up at Brian. 

Brian nodded and pushed away from the counter. "Yeah." He turned to Michael. "Need a lift?" 

"Um...actually I'll just catch a ride with Ted." Michael hitched his thumb towards the living room. "As soon as his fan club finishes with him." 

Brian glanced over to see Ted cornered by a dozen of Lindsay's single female relatives. Emmett was busy trying to fish him out of the mob. Brian chuckled, thoroughly amused by the scene. "Yeah. Good luck with that." 

Michael nodded and hugged Brian and Justin before walking them to the door. 

As soon as both of them had slid into the jeep and shut the doors, the lovers collapsed against one another in a fierce hug. Brian's hand cupped the back of Justin's head, his thumb caressing the patch of skin behind his ear. After a moment, Justin sighed and pushed away. His fingers splayed across Brian's cheeks, he drew the man towards him for a quick kiss. 

"I love you," Brian said quietly, as they parted. It was only a whisper but in the silence of the Jeep it resounded deeply, surrounding Justin warmly in the words. 

*** 

"Oh god! Ohhhhh! Uhhhh!" Brian moaned loudly as Justin moved over him, taking him deeper and deeper with every movement. 

Justin was too far gone to get out more than a grunt in response. But he moved back into position and Brian's cock slid deeper into his hole, until Justin's balls were resting comfortably against Brian's taut stomach. Justin's eyes slid closed with the amazing feel of it. He was on fire, stretched, accommodating the pulsing flesh. His legs, which were straddling Brian's hips, relaxed slowly, allowing him to move even further down, embedding, impaling himself on the sweet cock. 

Brian's head thrashed and fell back upon his pillow, unable to withstand the slow proceedings. For the last hour they had been riding one another hard and fast. Justin had finally decided to take it down a notch. The leisurely pace was proving to be too much for both of them. 

Quickly, Justin moved up until Brian had almost slipped out of him, before slowly, sensually inching his way back down. 

"Mmmnnn! Juuuuustin!" Brian groaned, pleading with him to pick up the pace. 

Justin bit his lip, once again relaxing against the man. He felt full. As if Brian had filled up the empty spaces within him - mind and body. He sighed and just before he could repeat his slow rhythm, Brian rolled them both over and pinned his shoulders to the bed with his hands. Quickly, with no hesitation, he reentered Justin with one smooth thrust, swiftly pumping in and out of his tight hole. 

Justin smiled and strained upwards, kissing Brian hotly on the neck, chin and finally his mouth. Their tongues dueled for a moment before Justin pushed his tongue deep into Brian's mouth, wanting to thrust into him with the same vehemence as the dick that was penetrating and piercing his ass. 

Brian moaned into his mouth hungrily, pulling Justin's forehead against his so that he might look into his love's blue eyes which were almost smokey grey with his arousal. "I fucking love you!" He gasped and came. 

With a satisfied moan, Justin jerked and spasmed as well, spilling his own seed over his stomach. 

Brian stretched out behind Justin and pulled him back against him so that he was spooning the young man. Although Justin knew he would never actually use the term spooning. Brian preferred to call it ‘holding him all wet and sticky'. 

Though it was only around five in the afternoon and still light outside, Justin knew that they would be out for at least a couple of hours. He pulled away only long enough to spread the duvet over them before moving back into Brian's arms. 

Nancy Peterson's funeral had taken a great deal of his energy. The idea of death, the thought of someone he knew and loved leaving him...it was all too scary. Too painful to even consider. Yet there was no way around thinking about it. Like an accident on the highway, no matter what you did, you couldn't look away from the scene. He had been agonizing over the idea of his own mother leaving him all day. Now, in Brian's arms, he wondered what life would be like without Brian. What would he do? How would he live? For all of the years that they had been together, he had always feared that Brian would leave him for someone else. Or for the sake of freedom. Never had he considered that something might happen to him. 

He turned his head to gaze at Brian. His lover was already snoring softly, no worse for wear. Justin relaxed back into position, sighed tiredly and tried to force the thoughts from his head so that he might sleep. His last thought before drifting off was that he hated funerals. 

*** 

The dust was overwhelming. She had been sneezing and her eyes had been watering all morning. To be such a ‘clean' family, the Peterson's attic was as filthy as any other. Lindsay had been up there for hours, sorting through papers and possessions for her father. They sat in stacks around her like a wall and nearly as high. 

Only two weeks after her death and he was already preparing to sell the house. It didn't seem right but who was she to object? Perhaps this was the only way for him to move on. To free himself from his own burdens, she thought sadly. 

"Hon? Up here?" 

"Here!" She called out, waving her hand over the stacks so that she might be seen. 

John shook his head in amazement and whistled. "Wow! I never knew what pack rats we had become." 

"Tell me about it. These," she indicated the papers in her hands, "are copies of your tax returns from the seventies." 

Her father laughed lightly. "I guess it would be safe to toss those." 

"Yeah." Lindsay giggled in agreement. 

"Well, I only wanted to tell you that there's a box of old photos on the kitchen table. I'm going for a jog. Just look through them and take what you want. And lock up if you leave before I get back." He started to leave but quickly turned back. "Oh! And the realtor is coming around noon, so if you could, just look over the house and make sure everything looks alright. Ya know, from a woman's perspective." 

She nodded and smiled as he leaned over the papers to kiss her forehead. "Bye daddy." 

"Bye sweetheart. And thanks!" 

Half an hour later, she had finally finished up with the papers, throwing away most of it. She looked over the house, deeming it perfect, and settled in at the kitchen table to sort through the old pictures. 

There weren't as many as she thought there might be. But then again, Nancy Peterson had never been a very sentimental person. Most of them were of Lynette and herself. Pictures of the family at Lynette's weddings. All three of them. Several of her mother and father's wedding. 

She picked out the old pictures of her parents, intending to keep only those for her own memories. As she placed them to the side, one of the pictures fluttered to the floor. 

Picking it up, she read the writing on the back. "Hmmmm...‘Neighborhood brunch 1982'," was written in her mother's spidery handwriting. She turned it over and stared, wide-eyed at the people in the picture before her. 

*** 

Two weeks. Justin had been depressed for two weeks and Brian was more than tired of it. It was affecting Justin's eating habits, his sleeping patterns and worst of all...their sex life. 

At the moment, the younger man was wrapped up in a black chenille throw on the sofa, watching "Moulin Rouge" for what had to be the nine hundredth time. 

Brian looked up from where he was working at his desk as Justin began whispering the lines along with Satine. 

"I'll always be with you...." 

He shook his head in disgust before rounding the desk and grabbing the dvd remote from the coffee table. He hit power and glared down at the blonde. 

"What?" 

"What?" Brian mocked. "What? I'll tell you ‘what'! You've been moping around here lately like a fuckin zombie!" 

Justin collapsed back onto the sofa and sighed. "Sorry," he whispered contritely. 

Brian crossed his arms angrily. "You're not getting off the hook that easily!" 

"I don't mean to be a downer Brian. Really. I just..." He looked away, slightly flustered. 

"You just what?" Brian's voice softened as he sat on the edge of the couch. "Justin, we've had this conversation. I can't read your mind." 

"I know." He turned back and smiled a feeble smile. "I don't really know what's wrong either. I'm just...I feel all...annoyed with everything," he said for lack of a better explanation. 

"Are you..." Justin looked up at him expectantly, "PMSing?" 

"Fucker." Justin laughed in spite of himself and pushed Brian off of the sofa. 

Brian giggled, glad to have succeeded in at least getting Justin to brighten a bit. He pushed himself up onto his knees and rested his head beside Justin's. They stared into one another's eyes for a long while before Justin looked away. 

"It's just the idea of..." He met the man's gaze once again and held it as he tried to make Brian understand. "I can't stand the thought of losing you, Brian." 

"Why do you think you're going to lose me?" 

Justin shrugged. "It's just that...with Lindsay's mom dying and..."' 

"Ahh. So that's what this is about? Had a little taste of your own mortality." It was all becoming clear to him now. The thoughts that he had chosen to push aside and move past, were haunting his young lover. He let his fingers sift through the blond spikes lazily. "Well...you can't spend your life worrying that something might happen. It's not worth it. You just enjoy the time you have." 

"I know that. And that's exactly the problem." 

Brian's hand stilled and lowered. He raised an eyebrow as his mouth gaped open slightly in confusion. "Okay...now you've lost me." 

Justin sat up and pulled Brian up onto the sofa beside him. "Brian...we don't even live together anymore. We split our time between your loft and my dorm room. It's pointless and uneconomical." 

"Uh-huh," Brian said slowly, already seeing where the conversation was heading. 

"So...I think...I think we should-" 

"Move back in together." Brian finished for him. Justin gave no indication of what he was thinking. Simply stared at Brian, unblinking, waiting for a response. Any response. "I thought we were going to wait until you graduated to even think about having a real relationship." 

"I know. But...I still have another four months. Maybe we shouldn't wait that long." 

"Yeah. Uh-huh. Four months before we even consider anything. Not four months until we plan the wedding! What if I have other plans now? You just assume that I'll go along with whatever you want." Brian was getting angry again. Angry and a little confused. It was all a bit of a surprise. 

Justin had been the one to move out in the first place in favor of the dorms. He had been the one to ‘cool things off', leaving Brian completely hurt and disjointed. So now...this complete 180 had Brian's mind spinning with possibilities. 

This new realization that every moment counted could last as long as a New York minute. Could he trust that Justin was serious about this? Or would he once again see that there was more to life? Once again leave Brian behind. Once again hurt him? 

Without even so much as a glance in the other man's direction, Brian stood and grabbed his jacket and keys. "Don't wait up," he called out before drawing the heavy metal door closed with an ominous bang.


	2. You Only Live Twice

Lindsay heard her father come in through the back door. Making her way to the back dining room, she watched as he stretched his calves against the wall. 

"Good run?" She asked, trying her best to sound casual. Although even to her, she sounded a bit shrill. 

Her father grinned. "Excellent. It's a beautiful day out." He straightened and twisted his torso several times to work out the kinks. 

"Daddy..." She began, not really knowing what direction to go in. 

The man stopped what he was doing as he heard her voice catch and he stared at her curiously. "What's the matter sweetheart?" 

"I...was just wondering how long...we've had this house?" 

"This house? Let's see." His eyes traced patterns on the ceiling as he calculated the years in his head. "You were ten or eleven when we moved so around twenty years or so. Why do you ask?" 

Lindsay did her own calculations and bit her lip, wondering how much to confront him with. If she were to simply show him the picture, would he confess? Would he confirm or deny what she only hoped was a memory that she had dreamed up. "Daddy-" 

At that moment, the doorbell chimed loudly, interrupting anything that she might have been about to ask. 

Lindsay held up her hand, signaling that she would get the door and walked calmly to the front foyer. She was so dazed that she hadn't thought to check and see who was there. It took everything she had to keep her eyes from bugging out of her head at the person that stood before her. 

"Jennifer!" 

Jennifer Taylor smiled brightly at seeing the woman. "Oh, Lindsay! How are you?" 

"F-Fine. I...This is just such a shock. I hadn't expected to see you here." Instead of opening the door further to let her in, Lindsay stepped out and closed the door behind her. "What...did you need something?" 

"I'm actually here on business." Jennifer held up her briefcase as proof. "I'm selling this house. Are you...? Wow! I hadn't made the connection but, is Ron your father?" 

Lindsay closed her eyes, fighting off a small wave of nausea. She had to force her eyes open as she swallowed with great difficulty. "Yes, actually he is." 

"Amazing. All this time, I never..." Jennifer's smile faltered a bit but she shook her head and recovered quickly. "Small world." 

Lindsay's smile was tight. "Too small." 

"Lindsay, who was - oh Jennifer! Come on in." Her father smiled charmingly down at the woman and pushed the door open further so that she might come in. "You'll have to excuse my appearance. I've just been for a jog. I wasn't expecting you until noon." He ushered the woman in as Lindsay stood rooted to her spot on the front step. 

This could not be happening. It was all too...Jerry Springer. With a tired sigh, Lindsay walked back into the house to retrieve her keys. She left without a word to the other two, unable to yet digest the possibility that Jennifer Taylor was her father's mistress. 

*** 

Justin pried one eye open to check the clock. It was now a little after five in the afternoon and Brian had been gone for hours. He wasn't worried though. Brian had told him not to wait up which meant he probably wouldn't even bother coming home. And if he did it would be after an all nighter at Babylon. That's where he would flee to whenever the non-relationship stuff became too much. 

In his mind, he was quite aware that he had no right to expect something more from Brian. He had been the one to call it quits in the first place. He hadn't harbored any illusions that he could come back into Brian's life and make things exactly as they had been before he left. But he always held out hope that one day they would naturally fall back into place. 

Stretching out on the bed, he looked up at the rafters in the ceiling of the loft and put his hands behind his head. There had to be an answer there somewhere. Something that would give him a clue as to why Brian was so upset. 

So Justin wanted to be with him. Was that so horrible? It wasn't as if things would be any different. Well...Brian would still trick, only he wouldn't bring them back to the loft. Justin would actually have clothes there when he needed them. No more midnight trips to the dorms for things that he had forgotten. No more paying that extra tuition for his minuscule dorm room. No more sleepless nights on account of an all night horror movie marathon in the common room down the hall. But other than that, they would still be seeing each other the same amount of time. 

Perhaps that was it. Maybe Brian was afraid of the implications of moving in together. When Brian had first allowed Justin to live at the loft, it had been disastrous. Ending with Justin forgetting to set the alarm and Brian's things getting stolen. The second time had been after he had gotten out of the hospital. It had began with guilt-driven motives, then it had blossomed into more. The want and need to be together had overcome them both. Brian had finally been struck dumb by the possibility that Justin meant as much to him as he meant to Justin. 

Then...after a year at PIFA, Justin had given in to the Brian Kinney ‘live life while you're young' lecture and had moved into the dorms. He had so many school friends there. Had heard about so many spur of the moment parties. So many all night study sessions turned club hopping adventures that he could no longer resist the lure of campus life. His move to the dorms wasn't supposed to change anything. Yet he and Brian had slowly drawn apart from one another as the amount of time they had spent together became smaller and smaller. 

One party. One night. Worse than even what had happened with the guy at Daphne's party the year before. Justin had gotten drunk and allowed some frat boy from Penn State to fuck the living daylights out of him to the point of bruising him. Somehow, it had proven something to he and Brian. To Brian, who had discovered the marks quickly enough, it had been a wake up call. Justin had let someone else top him. He had allowed someone to hurt him even. The possessiveness in Brian grew to massive proportions. But for Justin, each blueish brown bruise had represented some form of freedom. A life that he had yet to discover since coming under Brian's wing. The freedom to fuck and get fucked by whomever was available and not by someone that was there just because Brian wasn't. The freedom to come and go with no rules. No doubts. No excuses. The freedom to BE a Brian Kinney instead of being chained heart and soul to one. 

It had been a heartless move on his part and looking back, he couldn't for the life of him rationalize why he had done it. But after a year of his new life, he had tired of the party life. He had missed Brian desperately. Though they still had sex on occasion, should they run into each other at Babylon, when they had been together it was detached, cold even. It had been the most insightful and by far the worst time in Justin's young life. 

Justin rolled over on his stomach and stretched to get a picture frame from the night stand. In the simple black wooden frame was a picture of him and Brian on the night that they had finally put the past behind them. He had been at Babylon in search of someone. Anyone that would supply a hit of E or a willing ass. Preferably both. And then his eyes had settled on a man in the middle of a throng of dancers. His heartbeat had tripled. His palms had gotten clammy. His mouth felt as though it had been stuffed with cotton. All without the help of narcotics. And finally, he saw everything that his life had become with perfect clarity. 

If it had been a movie or television show, the music would have swelled around him as he descended the staircase from the upper level and made his way through the crowd towards the only man that could ever make him complete. 

He traced his fingers over the image of his lover in the picture. Brian had been so open. So...forgiving. It had surprised even Brian himself. Justin had approached him and stood there unmoving as Brian stopped dancing and returned his stare. Suddenly Emmett had staggered by with a gorgeous young twink on his arm and snapped a picture of them before giggling about going to a photo shoot with his companion. 

They ignored the man and continued to stare at one another unwaveringly. "Hey," Justin had begun lamely. 

With a touch of deja vou, Brian had smirked. "Hey...yourself." Playfully he had leaned in and nipped at Justin's lips lightly. 

"Can we...I mean..." Justin huffed. He knew that lightning never struck in the same place twice. How would Brian Kinney ever allow him back into his life? Prepared for the worst, Justin chewed his thumbnail nervously. "Can we talk?" 

Brian stared into his eyes for a moment, his smile long gone, before shrugging stoically. 

The back room had hardly been an appropriate place for the conversation, but other than the occasional loud moaner, it was the quietest area of Babylon, and Babylon was neutral territory. Besides that, If the talk went bad, they both had the feeling that they would need a stiff drink and a quick trick. 

"I miss you!" Justin had said over the resonance of the thumping music. 

Brian sat back on the couch, the air leaving him like a deflating balloon. He hadn't actually expected him to be so direct and he definitely didn't have a witty retort for it. So for once in his life, Brian had decided to be completely honest and see where it led him. "I've missed you too." 

"I don't think I've ever...ya know - apologized for the way I left things. I shouldn't have walked away like that." 

Brian shook his head. "No. You did what you had to do. You needed to see what it was like on the other side." 

Justin hesitated, "And I have. Seen, I mean." Brian nodded. "But now I know what I want. Where I want to be." 

Brian smiled bitterly. "Ah. So now I'm enough. And the frat boy?" 

"What frat boy?" It took him a moment for his memory to kick in and his brow furrowed with disbelief. "Brian, I never even knew that guy's name! Don't tell me you can't understand that!" Justin shouted in his own defense. 

"I can. I just never expected it from you." 

"No. But how many times have you told me to do just that?" 

Brian looked away, knowing that he was right. He looked at Justin out of the corner of his eye and a slow smile spread across his face. Small but sincere. "So...how was life in the fast lane anyway? Fuck anyone that I haven't gotten around to yet?" 

Justin barked a laugh and shook his head. Brian hadn't changed a bit. Ignoring the last question, he decided to answer the first. "It was fun. But...it could never compare to what I had with you." 

"Liar." 

Justin shook his head. "Can we try again?" 

Brian hesitated. "Maybe." Justin grinned, thrilled that he hadn't been rejected straight away. "In a few years." His face fell again. 

"A few years?!" 

"I'll give you two years - until you finish school - to get all of those raging hormones on a leash. Get all of the running around out of your system. Then, and only then, will I let you bring up this topic again." Justin had nodded and smiled at him with relief and love. Brian's eyes raked over his body, shoes to shit eating grin, and he stuck his tongue in his cheek. "Now get your ass over here. We have a lot of time to make up for." And in the backroom of Babylon, they had begun what would become a week long marathon of make up sex. 

So it had been understood that they would leave things open. They could see other people, fuck other people, live their own lives without worrying about hurting the other person. That is until Justin had opened his mouth the night before. Now it felt as though the scales were once again unbalanced. 

Justin sighed. Okay, so Brian had said two years. But...Justin was more settled now. They both knew that his heart belonged to no one but Brian. There was no misconceptions about where he slept, when and with whom. There was no one else and hadn't been since that night. So...why was Brian bringing up a time that had been put behind them long ago. Unless...maybe he had never really forgiven him. 

If that was true, then Justin might as well leave now. Because if Brian couldn't forgive him and let them move on together, then it had been over long before it had even begun. 

*** 

"Lindsay. Melanie." 

"Mr. Peterson," Melanie smiled and greeted him in return, allowing the man to pull out her chair for her. He did the same for Lindsay and she pecked him on the cheek quickly. More out of habit than anything, since she could barely stand to be in the same room with him. Her insides were probably charred with the thoughts that she had been entertaining all day long. Which was the reason for this dinner. She would get everything out in the open. 

"Now," Ron took a seat across from them, "would you care to explain why it was so urgent that we have dinner together tonight?" 

Lindsay pulled her top lip through her teeth and tried not to scream. Her father was being far too cheerful. It was the type of chipper that usually only occurred in the recipients of sexual favors and anyone that worked at Disneyland. She didn't even want to let her mind venture into that realm. Not now. Not ever. "Well dad...We...or I rather, wanted to talk to you about something." 

"Okay. Shoot." The man sipped his sherry and watched the women before him over the rim of the goblet. 

Melanie squeezed her hand under the table, urging her to say what she needed to say. Lindsay was grateful that Mel had agreed to come with her. She wasn't sure that she could have faced her father alone. "I found a picture this morning. In that box of mom's?" Her father nodded, waiting for her to continue. "It was of you and mom and another couple." 

"George and Margaret?" Lindsay thought of the prudish older couple and wanted to laugh and cry at the thought of her father with the old country club hag that Margaret was. 

"No daddy. Not George and Margaret." She felt Melanie squeeze her hand once more. He had no idea what was coming. She had to remember that. Be gentle. There was still a very off chance that there was absolutely no validity to her suspicions. "Jennifer and Craig Taylor." 

Though he tried not to show any outward appearance, Lindsay could immediately see his face go pale and his body tense up. "And..." he breathed out slowly. 

"And it was from some neighborhood brunch. Nineteen eighty-two. The year we moved away from the Royal Estates." 

"What are you getting at Lindsay?" She definitely had to give the man credit for regaining his composure so quickly. But she saw through it and her suspicions had already been proven true by the small vein that had appeared as blue as blazes in his forehead. 

"I heard you and mommy fighting one night before we moved. You had an affair." Lindsay looked up from her water glass and stared her father down. "You slept with Jennifer Taylor didn't you." Her voice was controlled and quiet but damning nonetheless. 

Ron didn't even try to cover the look of pain that washed over his face. His eyes dropped to the table and his index finger began tracing the edge of his silverware. "Lindsay, I love you sweetheart. But...it's over. You shouldn't concern yourself with worrying about it. Your mother and I straightened things out between us a long time ago and until today, I hadn't even set eyes on Jennifer since before we moved." 

"That's all well and good. But there's a little more to the story isn't there." Lindsay began. Suddenly, Melanie's hand clamped onto her's like a vice. Her lover tensed beside her and she looked to see what was wrong. Following Melanie's gaze, she watched as Jennifer Taylor approached their table. 

"Well isn't this a coincidence!" She grinned at the occupants of the table. 

Melanie was the first to speak. "How are you Jennifer?" 

"Wonderful. I sold another house yesterday so I decided to grab Justin for a nice celebration dinner. This is his favorite restaurant." As she said this, Justin approached the table and rolled his eyes at Melanie as she was the only one paying any attention. 

"How could I argue? She bursts into the loft and practically forces me to take this new cashmere sweater and then tells me that I have to let her gorge me with Italian food. I figured it could be my good deed for the day." 

Melanie laughed at Justin's playful remark and Lindsay kicked her wife's foot beneath the table. This was supposed to be an uncomfortable situation. Why was it that she and her father were the only two people that understood that? 

"W-Why don't you two join us?" Melanie spoke up, knowing that it would earn her glares from the Peterson's. Sure enough, identical chocolate brown eyes stared her down from either side of the table. 

"Well, if you're sure it's alright." Jennifer hesitated. "We wouldn't want to be any imposition if you were having a family dinner." 

Lindsay scoffed loudly, folding her arms across her stomach. Her father gave her a warning glance before turning and smiling politely at Jennifer. "Don't be silly." He stood and pulled out a chair for Jennifer before securing an extra chair from another table for Justin. 

"Thank you. I'm...Justin by the way. I don't think we've ever been formally introduced." Justin shook the man's hand over the table and Ron nodded in greeting. 

"I'm Ron Peterson. Lindsay's father." 

Justin scratched his chin absentmindedly, trying to find the appropriate words to express himself. "I am...very sorry about your loss." 

Lindsay's father closed his eyes momentarily to collect himself. With his own curt response, he replied with a simple "thank you". 

As they sat there, Lindsay began to feel trapped in the uncomfortable silence. Jennifer was the first to break as she clasped her hands together and grinned at her. "So where is that beautiful baby tonight? I bet he's grown a head taller since I saw him last." 

Melanie saved her from having to answer. "We left him with Brian actually. He was going to take him to see a movie." She looked to Justin. "I'm surprised you didn't know." Lindsay noticed that he looked a bit upset by the comment and she wanted to ask him what Brian had done now but she couldn't pull herself from the pit that she had fallen into. 

"Oh, Lindsay...my painting final is due next week," Justin perked up from his place beside her. "Would you mind taking a look at it tomorrow? Maybe I could bring it by your place?" 

Lindsay nodded but sat quietly, returning to her previous activity of staring at her father. They were waiting to see who might break first. Her father was willing her to keep her mouth shut. Lindsay was willing him to take up for himself. Come clean in front of God and everyone. Neither would win. 

"Look...I can see that we've interrupted something. I think Justin and I will just get another table." Mrs Taylor moved to stand up. 

"Don't. This concerns you too." Melanie called to her. The woman sank back down into her chair slowly, looking as though she wanted to bolt if only her legs would work. 

"Me? About the house perhaps?" 

"Lindsay knows." Lindsay's head whipped around from where she had been about to yell at Melanie. Now she was back to gaping at her father. 

Jennifer pushed her hair behind her ears and feigned ignorance. "I don't..." Her voice wavered and she fell silent as did the rest of the table. Justin, the only one now out of the loop, began to get worried with the drawn out silence. 

"Mom?" Justin looked at his mother, confusion clouding his features. "What is it?" His eyes traveled around the table, and Lindsay felt his gaze settle on her. "Lindsay?" 

"Why don't you ask your father," she tried so hard not to hiss as she spoke the words but there was no other way to produce the sound. 

Justin, the poor boy, looked even more baffled. "But...he's in Seattle." 

"No Justin...don't be so clueless. He's sitting there right in front of you. Ron Peterson himself!" She waved her hand towards her father. "Amazing really. All of these years. I knew it had happened. But god! How could you ignore your own son?" 

Ron's eyes searched Jennifer's face, which was now streaked with guilty tears. But Lindsay was beyond feeling bad for either of the parents. So many years she had felt lost and alone. An outcast in her own family, especially after she had came out to them. She thought of the things that she had heard about Craig Taylor. What might she and Justin been spared had everyone simply been honest? 

"What...?" Justin began, looking at them as though everyone had gone insane. "What are you talking about?" Lindsay remained quiet, looking back and forth between Jennifer and Ron. Justin looked at his mother and shook his head. "Mom?" 

There was no sense lying about things now. Jennifer looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. "I'm sorry sweetheart...We thought that-" 

"He's my...father?" Jennifer nodded mutely, the tears streaming down her cheeks, unchecked, once more. Justin stared at his mother and she looked away, no longer able to meet his eyes. "I don't believe you." Justin said evenly, but with no real conviction, before he stood and ran out of the restaurant without another word.


	3. You Only Live Twice

Ron watched as his daughter's wife chased after Justin. His son. He had known. But hearing it...after all this time... It made his heart swell with joy and pain. From his good manners and appearance, the young man had obviously been raised well. Not that he had ever doubted it. 

When he had heard about it being Justin that had been bashed at his prom - about a week after it had actually happened - he had immediately gone to the hospital. It had been late at night so that no one would see him. Yet Brian Kinney, Lindsay's best friend from college, had been sitting there like an ancient warrior that refused to abandon his post. He had looked like shit. Earlier, Jennifer had informed him that Brian and Justin had been ‘seeing' one another for quite some time. Needless to say, he hadn't even caught a glimpse of Justin in the hospital. Though he had made sure that the bill was payed for in full and anonymously. 

No. No matter what anyone thought, Ron Peterson had never forgotten his son. 

"I just want you to know, that I don't love you any less." Lindsay began, looking as though she was torn between crying and retching. "But I'm disappointed. So disappointed in you." After only a beat she looked up at him suspiciously, "Are you fucking her?" 

Ron's eyes grew wide and he growled at his daughter. "I'll allow you to have your say on this Lindsay, but that is none of your damn business! You are severely overstepping your bounds, young lady!" He said it and he meant it. Lindsay had always been the level-headed one out of his daughters. Yes, even she was allowed to be an ass every now and then. But there was no way he would allow her to insult him or Jennifer. Especially when they had done nothing to be ashamed of. 

Lindsay ignored him and the finger he had begun to wag in her face. "Mom's body isn't even cold dad! How could you do that to her?" 

The words pierced his heart but he shook it off. It was a low blow and a lame ploy to draw him out. "What? Go on living? Your mother and I were over ages ago. I miss her. I'm sorry it happened. I grieve for her. But I can't go on as if I've died too." 

Lindsay opened and closed her mouth like a fish, no sound escaping. Her father reached for Jennifer's hand and held it delicately as one might hold a piece of fine porcelain, showing his outright affection for the woman. "I care about Jennifer. We loved one another. But we were both married and we loved them too. It was only the once. Only the one time that we..." He shook his head, not wanting to say anymore. Knowing that words would diminish or belittle the value that he placed on that one event. "But I've never forgotten her. Never stopped loving and caring about her." 

Jennifer nodded from beside him. "Lindsay, we didn't want to hurt anyone. And until today, I was sure that I would never see him again. But...we only want to be friends. Perhaps more in time but not now." 

"Could you handle that?" He asked, knowing that Lindsay's answer would only mean something to Lindsay. He was beyond needing anyone's approval. A lesson that Lindsay herself had once taught him. 

Lindsay looked back and forth between he and Jennifer once more. He knew what she would find there. There would be a sparkle in his eyes that had been long missing. A happiness that made him seem twenty years younger. If he was aware of it, the entire world had to be able to see it. And it was all due to the amazing woman by his side. A woman that, despite her slightly tear-smudged mascara, looked every bit as breathtakingly beautiful as she had those twenty years ago. She had been the change in him. If anyone could see that, it should have been Lindsay. 

Jennifer glanced at him and he saw the concern that etched delicate lines on her face. She was worried about coming between father and daughter. But she needn't have worried. Lindsay was smiling softly now. Lost in her own thoughts. 

"Well...I guess you could have done a lot worse," his baby girl said in way of apology. The couple before her smiled timidly at one another. "Now...about Justin..." 

"Lindsay-" Ron started warily. 

"You know I've always wanted a little brother. Can I keep him?" she asked in the hushed voice of a small child. 

*** 

He had tossed and turned for the past hour. All Justin wanted was to sleep. Abandon reality for a few hours. Forget everything that he had heard tonight. For once, Brian and the problems he did or didn't have with him where the furthest thoughts from his mind. 

After leaving the restaurant, Melanie had located him in the alley, gasping for breath and dry heaving so heavily that tears were dripping down his face like drops of rain. At his request, she had driven him back to his dorm where he had been for the last three hours. 

Three hours. Three hours of thinking. Thinking about nothing but a father that had betrayed him. Another father that had chosen to pretend that he didn't exist. A mother that had lied to him. A sister - GOD! Another sister! And... And all thinking about it had gotten him was a headache. 

Justin jumped as someone began pounding on the door. "Zach. Could you get that?" 

Zach, Justin's roommate, had been at his small corner desk finishing a paper. Justin glanced at him and saw that the boy was too engrossed in the topic of Klimt's Dimensions as well as whatever punk band was blasting through his headphones to hear anything that Justin was saying. He huffed as he rolled out of bed and padded to the door. 

As soon as Brian took in his rumpled blue tank top and flannel pajama bottoms, as well as his puffy pink eyes, the man pulled Justin to him carefully, as though afraid he might break. "Hey. You okay?" he asked worriedly and with such surprise that Justin knew right away that Brian hadn't been enlightened to the earlier happenings of the night. 

Justin sighed, lifted his shoulder slightly in a weak shrug, and shuffled back to his bed, flopping back onto the mattress and pulling the covers back over him. Brian took off his brown leather jacket and threw it onto Zach's bed before toeing off his shoes and crawling under the comforter with him. 

Without a word, Justin melded into Brian's embrace and buried his face in the other man's chest. "This morning...." 

Justin shook his head but didn't look at him. "Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything." 

"No. You were only saying what you felt. I've told you a million times that you have to ask for what you want if you ever expect to get it." He pressed his lips gently to Justin's forehead. "Wanna hear about my day?" Justin nodded. Maybe the gentle sound of Brian's voice would finally lull him to sleep. "Well I spent most of it at the baths. And then I went to Woody's for drinks, where I picked up a hot young stud and took him to places he had never been before." 

Justin actually giggled in spite of himself. "You did not. You were at Lindsay and Mel's babysitting all day. And then you took Gus to the movies." He pulled up and crossed his arms over Brian's chest, resting his chin on them. 

"Who blabbed?" Brian smirked and rolled his eyes. "But actually I did do one other thing that I think we really need to discuss." 

Justin looked up at Brian and sighed. "Not tonight, okay? I don't want to talk about anything important tonight." Brian conceded with a small inclination of his head. "So how did you know that I was here and not out with my own hot young stud?" 

Justin felt Brian's body tense and he cursed himself for saying something like that. Then Brian smirked and playfully bit the thumb that Justin had been trailing over his bottom lip. "After the muncher's got home, I went back to the loft to talk to you. And of course you weren't there so...I figured you had come back here to give me some space. ‘To get my mind straight', as you call it." 

"So you came here..." 

"I don't much like that space anymore." He placed his hands one on either side of Justin's face, tracing the ridges of his ears with the pads of his thumbs. "Unless you're in it somewhere." 

Justin's bright smile was marred by a large yawn. He rubbed his eyes and smiled again, sheepishly. "Guess it's been a pretty long day." Brian kissed his forehead and nodded. He pushed Justin away only long enough to strip down to his underwear and they snuggled together on the twin bed, Brian now behind Justin and Justin curled in on himself. 

"Brian! Hey man! When did you get here?" Justin heard Zach call out just before he slipped into a comfortable state of unconsciousness. 

*** 

The next morning, Brian rolled over to stretch out, as his muscles had grown stiff and sore during the night. As he spread his arms, he tumbled off of the bed and fell with a loud thump onto the floor. Cursing loudly, he rubbed his backside which had taken the brunt of the impact. 

Justin and Zach both opened their eyes and looked at the man blankly before bursting into a fit of giggles. This definitely wasn't the first morning that had started off in the very same way. The older man just couldn't get used to the confined quarters of twin beds. 

Brian stood and stared down at Justin, happy to see that his mood was slightly improved with the new day. "Think that's funny do you?" Justin nodded without a second thought. "Oh! Well..." Brian jumped on top of him and launched a full scale attack on Justin's most ticklish areas. As the boy squirmed and wriggled under him, Brian bit back his own laughter. How could Justin always make him feel so...good? So happy and playful? 

"You gonna take that Justin?" Zach called out, urging Justin to fight back, though it would be without any help from him. Zach had learned right off the bat that you didn't challenge Brian Kinney unless you were looking for trouble - even if he appeared to be in a good mood. 

"Zach! Help!" Justin begged. "Jeez Brian! Hit the treadmill why don'tcha? You weigh a ton!" Justin snipped out between giggles. 

Brian's mouth fell open in shock and his hands froze above Justin's flank. "Why you little...! Oh you're in for it now!" He stretched out over Justin and let all of his weight rest on the young man. All the while his fingers began dancing over his sides, making the torture all the sweeter. Silencing the new wave of louder giggles, Brian's mouth covered Justin's in a tender kiss and suddenly Brian no longer wanted to get him back. Justin obviously had the same idea as his arms snaked around Brian's neck. 

The sound of the door closing, alerted him to the fact that Zach had left the room. He had to hand it to the kid. He was perceptive. But then again, Justin wasn't even there half the time so it wasn't as if he never had any privacy of his own or anything. 

Taking advantage of the lack of audience, Brian rolled away a bit so that he was still half on top of Justin and half of him rested on the bed. Without breaking the kiss, Brian ran his hand underneath the tank top, allowing his fingertips to explore his lover's chest, abs, nipples. He gently tugged at the skin around Justin's nipple ring, instead of the actual ring, which elicited a happy sigh from the blonde. 

Justin's eyes fluttered open and with his newfound alertness, the clouds which had been present the night before returned with a vengeance. "Brian..." he whispered, stilling Brian's hand that had been about to tug down the pajama bottoms. 

"What is it?" He rested his forehead against Justin's collar bone. 

"Don't. Not now." Brian pulled away from Justin until there wasn't an inch of their bodies left touching. 

"Okay?," He asked smiling, not upset but trying to soothe Justin without the benefit of contact. 

Justin rolled his eyes impatiently and pulled Brian back to him. "I didn't mean... I just want to enjoy being with you." 

Brian's brow wrinkled. He sighed and rubbed his thumb and index finger into the corners of his eyes. "No lovin for you at all until you spill it." 

"Spill what?" 

"Whatever it is that has you looking like you're ready to cry. Whatever made you so upset last night." He rolled off of Justin, towards the wall this time, to insure that he wouldn't fall. When he was settled with his arm draped over Justin's waist and his leg slung over his thighs, he pressed his lips to his lover's shoulder and rested his cheek against the pillow. "So what did Craig do this time?" 

The blonde looked at Brian as though he were insane. "What are you talking about?" 

"Last night. You were calling out for your dad in your sleep." A small whimper escaped from Justin and Brian raised his eyes to see his lover's lip begin to quiver with pent up emotion. "Shit, Justin. What the hell did he do? I've told you a million times - you can't listen to his crap. He isn't worth-" 

"It isnt' dad...uh, Craig. Craig Taylor isn't even my father," he murmured dejectedly. 

"Um...Huh?" 

"My dad...isn't my dad." Justin let his head collapse heavily back onto his pillow. "My whole life has been a sham." 

"So...if he isn't your dad..." 

"My mother had an affair with Ron Peterson," He said, fairly seething at the name. 

"Ro-Pet-You mean...?" Justin nodded and closed his eyes. "..and they..?" Again Justin nodded. "...so Lindsay is...?" Once more Justin nodded and sat up, moving to hang his legs off of the edge of the bed. "Fuck me!" Brian started to laugh hysterically. 

Justin turned and glared at the man incredulously. "I'm so happy that my problems are so amusing to you." 

He tried to wipe the amusement from his face but it was no good. "I'm sorry. But, come on! They aren't YOUR problems. We've been through this before. You can't be responsible for them. I mean, sure, you have a new dad now and things will change. But did you really like the old one that much?" Justin's frown deepened and Brian kissed his neck, pulling him even closer to him. 

"He was my dad though. He took me to little league every Tuesday and Thursday. We went to baseball games together. He taught me how to ride a bike." 

Brian had heard many of the pro-Craig Taylor stories before. But he had been given just as many stories to hold against the man. "How about the time he told you that your lifestyle was disgusting. That you had flaunted yourself. What about all of the birthdays he missed. All of the school plays that he was too busy to come to. He took you to practices but...didn't you tell me that he never even watched you play in your little league games?" 

Justin said nothing, taking in what Brian had said. "Besides, you have to admit that it's kind of funny!" Brian began to chuckle once again, holding his stomach as he shook his head. "Do you realize...that my son is your...nephew?" Justin let himself chuckle under his breath. 

The two pulled back and looked at one another for a long time. Brian saw that Justin's eyes had cleared and were now dancing with mischief. Reading his young lover's mind, they both wrinkled their noses at one another and screamed, "Ew!" and "Incest!" before Justin jumped on top of him and finally put their privacy to good use. 

*** 

Jennifer's mind was racing. She opened one eye and then the other. Took in her surroundings and fought the urge to bury her head under the blankets and hide for the next year or so. How was it that this man could get her to do things like this? 

"Good morning," she heard him whisper from the pillow beside her. 

She covered her eyes with her hand and groaned. "Ron, I am truly sorry." 

"For what?" 

Without an answer, Jennifer sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. With a rigid set to her shoulders, she began snatching up stray items of clothing that were scattered over the bedroom floor. "I never should have stayed the night. We're supposed to be friends." 

"Jen, I know that's what we said but is that really what you want? Honestly?" Ron sat up and back against a stack of pillows all the time watching the woman pace. 

She paused and thought about the question for a moment. "No-Yes!" How had she gotten here? Last night, Lindsay had left them to eat, not ready to truly accept things but not wanting to be in the way. They had gotten slightly tipsy on sherry and wine and reminisced for hours about how things used to be in a way that only two old lovers could. Then they had found themselves at his townhouse. It had been a spur of the moment thing. More proof of her bad decision making. But now, in the light of the morning, what did she really want? "Look, I don't know! All I know is that I have a son that's upset with me, a lot of guilt that has surfaced recently, and a daughter that needs to be picked up from a sleepover." 

"So it's about the children?" 

Was it? Craig had disappointed her beyond belief when he had turned against Justin. He hadn't known that Justin wasn't his. But...in a heated argument over wether she had or hadn't ‘turned' Justin gay, she had let it slip that Justin was indeed not even his son. Then came the separation, the short-lived custody battles over Molly that Jennifer had kept quiet, and finally the divorce. 

The man that had proclaimed to love her for over twenty years, had walked out on her at the first sign of true trouble. For better or for worse just didn't go as far as it used to. The feeling she had felt the night that Craig had said goodbye returned, squeezing her chest painfully. "I don't think I can be involved with you, Ron. In any way. Not right now." 

"Jennifer..." He looked sincerely hurt and Jen fidgeted nervously. Finally the older man sat back tiredly. "I loved Nancy for many many years. But the year that I knew you, the once that I was with you, was the only time I felt truly alive. I had only hoped that we could get that back." 

"I know." She whispered. "And I am sorry. I've had some interest shown in your house but if that doesn't come through, then I'm going to ask that another realtor be assigned to you." She pulled on her blouse and tailored skirt quickly. She scanned the room until she was satisfied that she hadn't forgotten anything before turning towards the door. "Oh," she turned back and Ron looked up hopefully. ", if you want to talk to Justin...I won't stop you. Just don't even try to be a father to him if you are only going to disappoint him in the long run. He's been hurt too many times before." And so have I, she thought as she walked out of Ron Peterson's bedroom, townhouse, and life. 

*** 

Brian stood back and watched with amusement as Justin tossed his jacket carelessly over the back of the sofa and walked directly into the bedroom. After cheer up sex, they had made their way back to the loft to ‘discuss' what exactly Brian had done yesterday before his quality time with Gus. All he had told Justin so far was that he couldn't tell him anything about it until he found his surprise. Justin loved this kind of thing and Brian knew it. 

"Give me a hint," Justin called out from behind the screens. 

"Nope," Brian leaned back against the kitchen counter and stared at his feet, waiting. 

"It's not in the bedroom!" 

"Then try another area Sherlock." 

Justin stood in the doorway of the bedroom and stared at Brian. "No hint?" 

Brian mouthed a ‘no' and shook his head to exaggerate his point. 

The blonde stomped into the bathroom, excitement still gleaming in his eyes. Five minutes later he walked back out and went to the desk. Brian rolled his eyes. Of course, he was going to look everywhere BUT where he was supposed to. The box was even in plane sight! After several more minutes of no luck, Justin made his way back to Brian, a playful pout on his face. "I give up. I don't like this game." 

Brian shook his head in exasperation. "That's because you suck at it." He bracketed Justin's face with his hands and turned Justin's head towards the chaise lounge in the corner. 

Blue eyes brightened as they fell upon the small black box and sterling silver rose that rested beside it. "Oh...what is that?" 

"Open it and see." Brian was shaking. He had been so calm and ready. Now he wasn't sure he could go through with it. And then he watched Justin as he gingerly picked up the box and rubbed his other palm over the top of it lovingly, as if simply pleased that he had been given anything. Not particularly caring what was in the package. Not yet anyway. When Justin slowly opened the box and peered inside, he let out a small giggle followed by his nose wrinkling in confusion, and Brian knew that it had been the right move. It was now or never. 

"A...key ring?" 

Brian shrugged. "Don't you like it?" 

"Yeah. And so funny. ‘Princess'" Justin rolled his eyes heavenward and caught his lower lip with his teeth. "So. Does this mean what I think it means?" 

"No." 

"No?" 

"Well I'm assuming that you think it means that I want you to move back in here with me." Justin nodded. "Then no. It doesn't mean what you think it means." 

Justin picked up the rose and smiled as he ran the petals over his cheek and under his nose. "Then what DOES it mean?" 

"Did you happen to bother looking further in the box?" 

He placed the rose on the counter beside Brian and picked under the cotton square that had been placed in the box. After a moment of fishing, he came back out with a key in his fingers as well as a slip of paper. "This is an address," he announced as he read the paper. "What's it for?" 

"Well it's for this quaint little place about seven miles outside of town. Secluded area. Nice neighbors, if you like that sort of thing." He didn't particularly care for them but Justin was more of a people person. "After I left yesterday I went for a walk. Didn't even watch where I was going. And then suddenly I was there." 

"At this address?" 

"No. At your mother's office." 

"My mother?" 

"Yeah. She's a really understanding woman." Justin simply stared at him and Brian laughed as he remembered the look on Jennifer's face as he had attempted to explain what he was looking for. "She wasn't too thrilled about it but she said that if we were going to do it then she wanted to be the one that found it." 

"Brian, you aren't making sense. Found what?" 

"A house, Justin! Haven't you been paying attention? I looked at it yesterday afternoon. It's perfect. Two stories. Four bedrooms, three and a half baths. One of the bedrooms would be perfect for a studio or whatever. Huge floor-to-ceiling windows." 

"Is this for real?" Brian grinned. As much as he had tried to, Justin hadn't been able to contain the excitement in his voice. A positive sign. 

"I want you to look at it and if you like it, then it's our's." All Justin could do was wrap his arms around Brian's waist and squeeze as tightly as possible. "So you still like the idea of living together? It's a pretty big step." 

"I can't think of anything that would make me happier." He frowned suddenly and released his hold on the taller man. "What about what you said? About having other plans?" 

"Well you aren't moving in here are you? I've been thinking about this for a while. And I'm ready. And...you're getting there. But I did say that you should take advantage of the time you had. I wouldn't be a very smart person if I didn't listen to someone as wise as myself." 

"And modest too." 

He nodded earnestly. "That too." 

Justin looked around Brian's home. "But what about the loft?" 

Brian squeezed his eyes closed as though he were in pain. "I'm getting too...o...o..." 

"Old." Justin helped him out. 

The man cracked open one eye. "Yeah...what you said...to have a place like this. Besides, if we plan on doing this right, we should start fresh." 

Justin looked down at the key in his hand and blinked away tears of joy. "We should start fresh," he repeated and laughed a lighthearted laugh that came straight from his soul. Fathers, mothers, sisters, friends. Fuck em. He had his family right there in front of him. 

*** 

Epilogue  
One Month Later... 

Lindsay stared into the small crowd that had gathered in her home. Well...not so much her home anymore. It was overwhelming to say the very least but damned if she wasn't enjoying every minute of it. 

Debbie sat happily in an overstuffed armchair, bouncing and staring at the immaculately decorated room. Her father, along with Vic, Michael, Emmett and Ted stood together in the back of the room, chatting quietly. Jennifer and Molly Taylor sat silently beside Brian, who was, for once, on his best behavior. Gus was climbing all over Justin, who was seated on the back of the sofa behind his mother and Brian. His grin matched her own even though she knew it was for a very different reason. 

Melanie stood beside her, their hands intertwined. Her wife was giving her all the strength she needed to do what she had to and Lindsay silently promised to repay her for once again being the rock in their family. Their rapidly expanding family. 

"Well...you all know why we're here. To celebrate Justin and Brian's...uh...step in the right direction?" Titters where heard all over the room. Even Justin couldn't hold back his giggles. This earned him a playful glare from his lover. "Either way, we hope that you will enjoy your new home and will be happy here for many many years to come." She raised her glass of punch and the others did the same. 

"Here here!" Deb called out loudly. 

Looking around the room, Justin sighed and fought back the emotion that threatened to choke him. Things hadn't changed as he feared they might. If anything, they had gotten better. Instead of their being some horrible line drawn in the sand, he had found himself welcomed into the Peterson clan with open arms. By all except for Lynette. Not a great loss from what he had seen. 

In the four weeks that he had known him, Ron Peterson had been more of a father than Craig Taylor could have ever been. Not that Justin didn't appreciate the man that had raised him. He still loved the man and always would. Still, Ron had already accepted Brian as something of a son-in-law. The show of acceptance had warmed Justin, who had still been trying to convince himself that his father's approval or disapproval of the situation didn't matter. 

Ron also made sure that all of his children felt loved and equal in his eyes. Just the week before, he had surprised Justin and Lindsay with tickets to the opening of the Degas exhibit. He had insisted on going with them and had proven to be just as much of an art enthusiast as his children. 

When the guys had heard the news, they thought it was completely hilarious and had begun chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" alerting every patron in the Liberty Diner to the situation. Lindsay had been mortified, but had giggled as she realized that she and Justin were wearing the same blushing grimace. 

After each of their friends had their say, Justin handed Gus to his father and approached Lindsay with a wary smile. "Thanks. For the toast." 

Lindsay grinned and pushed a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. "It was the least I could do." 

"I never really asked if you minded us buying this house. I mean...it has to have a lot of memories for you. I don't want to..." He shook his head not really knowing how to put it. He knew that he didn't want to tread on a part of her family that seemed rather taboo to him. Her mother had lived in this house after all. 

His sister merely held up her hand to stop him. "Don't." Taken the young man into a tight hug, she kissed his cheek. "I'm just happy that it's staying in the family."


End file.
